I recently interviewed six couples who had each been married for over 25 years. As I sat down with each partner, we began talking about their marriage. During our conversation we discussed the impact of their or their spouse’s retirement on their marriage, their level of satisfaction in marriage, and the presence of forgiveness in their marriage throughout the years. At the end of my first interview, a woman who had been married for 57 years was walking me to the front door. She stopped me to tell me that she was still thinking over the idea of forgiveness in her marriage, some 45 minutes after our interview ended. At that moment, I knew the question about forgiveness would become the most thought-provoking question I would ask in each interview. Read More
In the last post we talked about the importance of maintaining your own sense of identity and independence within your relationship and gave some tips for doing so. This post takes a look at the other side of this dynamic — when there is too much “I” and not enough “We.”
When maintaining a sense of closeness is not a priority, intimacy atrophies. It can happen gradually. One day you wake up and suddenly realize you just feel so… far away… from your partner. How did that happen? And how do you get back that sense of “we”?
We all know that one couple that seems to do everything together. You know the one. They share every leisure activity, and rarely, if ever, does one partner make plans that don’t involve the other. Maybe you see this in your best friend’s relationship, maybe in a relative’s relationship, or maybe in your own! Read More