Two nearly overripe pineapples sat on the cutting board in front of me. I had been walking by these pineapples for days thinking, “Who is going to cut up the pineapples?” I finally came to the conclusion that if I didn’t, they would go to waste. As I cut them I thought “Why did my husband buy these? Why didn’t he cut them up? It’s a lot of work to cut up a pineapple. Is he expecting me to cut them up? Why does he buy laborious fruit and not prepare it? Why can’t I at least be thankful that he is buying fresh fruit?”
The next day we had lunch together as a family. Everyone raved about how good the pineapple was, especially my husband. This struck me because he rarely comments on how good our food is or how much he is enjoys it. As someone whose love language is service, having my efforts be acknowledged was satisfying, more satisfying than eating the pineapple (and it really was a sweet, juicy pineapple).
The following week I came home from work, and guess what was sitting on the counter – another pineapple! My first response was – “Not again! Who is going to cut that up! More work for me!” As I cut the pineapple this time, my thoughts were a little different. I found myself reflecting on how things were when we were newly married. One of the items that my husband always wanted in the house was pineapple. I purposefully (and cheerfully) made sure we had some in the house. Why was my attitude so sour now? Why was I no longer finding joy in serving and blessing him, especially after basking in his raving about it a few days prior? I guess fifteen years into marriage, two kids, and the mundane responsibilities of life have taken a toll.
Has your response to serving and blessing your partner turned sour? Over time, we tend to focus more on the laboriousness of the fruit than the sweet fruit of our labor– which is you and your partner feeling loved and cherished. Perhaps by reframing our mindset and reminding ourselves of the sweetness of the fruit, we can rediscover the joy of serving each other in small, but meaningful, ways.
What can you do to be thoughtful to your loved one today?