This might sound crazy, but we’re going to put it out there: 2020 has been good for our relationships. Not just our relationship as a couple, but all of the meaningful relationships in our lives. Don’t get us wrong, it also put them to the test. We experienced tension, terse words, and probably a few arguments thrown in there, too. But we’ve now been in this long enough that we can pull back a bit and see things through a broader perspective.
Here are some of the positive effects on relationships we experienced this year.
My brother recently got married. During the reception, they played the game where the bride and groom sit in chairs back to back. They each hold one of their own shoes and one of their spouse’s shoes in each hand. The DJ then reads off a series of questions, such as, “Who is the better driver?” or “Who is a night owl?”, and the newlyweds raise the shoe of whomever they think the answer is. It’s entertaining to see how similarly (or not) the couple responds!
One of the questions for my brother and his new wife was, “Who has the crazier family?”
Tough times are eventually going to find you, it’s inevitable. Life has a way of interjecting adversity despite all we do to try and prevent it. Sometimes, it’s trivial and throws you off for a few weeks, and sometimes it’s life-changing and gives you a new perspective on just about everything.
When bigger adversity challenges you and your partner together, as a couple, there can be a “we’re in this together” bond that is pretty powerful and can give you the momentum to push through the difficult time. However, when something happens to you or your partner separately, it can feel very isolating, even though it’s likely that you’re both significantly affected by it. Tough times that fall into this category can vary greatly, but examples would be a health diagnosis or a job loss.
In the case where it’s just happening to one of you, it’s really important to remember that even though it may feel as though it’s only happening to the one person, it’s really impacting both of you.
in Minnesota, we have to do something called “winterizing.” If you live in a
region that gets cold in the winter, you probably know what this is, but if you
live somewhere that’s warm year-round, you might be saying, “Huh?”
is basically adapting or preparing something for use in the winter. For
example, you might winterize your car by replacing the wiper blades, switching
to snow tires, testing the battery, and making sure you have a winter emergency
kit in tow. You winterize your house by checking your furnace, sealing up
drafty window and doors, and putting away the patio furniture.
idea is that you know a new season is coming, and you’re taking proactive
measures to avoid ending up in a less-than-ideal situation, such as coming out
to a dead car battery in a snowstorm or paying a sky-high gas bill because the
heat is literally going right out the window.
your relationship need winterizing? Perhaps your “winter” is a new addition to
the family, or a new career, or your kids entering a busier, more demanding
stage of life. How can you take stock of your relationship and prepare it for
what’s to come?
season is in full swing right now, or at least it would be during a normal
year. The reality is, even if you don’t have to cancel or postpone your big
day, there’s a chance that things might look different than you envisioned. Feeling
disappointment and sense of grief is normal and valid. We understand all the
planning and resources that go into these momentous events! But we also want to
encourage you to keep your eye on the prize – a long, happy marriage.
are four challenges you might be facing for your 2020 wedding – and how they
might actually be an opportunity to strengthen your marriage in the long run.