The more tasks we can accomplish at once, the more productive we feel. We must admit though, that often these are tasks we can complete rather mindlessly— folding laundry while texting your friend and catching up on your favorite show. Your relationship, however, should not be one of these things; it deserves your full attention. Read More
Fall is just around the corner. Here in Minnesota, we can feel that telltale crispness in the air. Sales on school supplies have been replaced by bins of Halloween candy. With students returning to school, now is a good time to review the ABC’s and 1,2,3’s of your relationship! Read More
In the last post we talked about the importance of maintaining your own sense of identity and independence within your relationship and gave some tips for doing so. This post takes a look at the other side of this dynamic — when there is too much “I” and not enough “We.”
When maintaining a sense of closeness is not a priority, intimacy atrophies. It can happen gradually. One day you wake up and suddenly realize you just feel so… far away… from your partner. How did that happen? And how do you get back that sense of “we”?
We all know that one couple that seems to do everything together. You know the one. They share every leisure activity, and rarely, if ever, does one partner make plans that don’t involve the other. Maybe you see this in your best friend’s relationship, maybe in a relative’s relationship, or maybe in your own! Read More
Use this as an opportunity (or an excuse) to step up your dating game. Continuing (and remembering) to date each other is a fun way to stay connected to your partner when you have so many other responsibilities and commitments (children, careers, housework, bills, to name a few). It does require making an effort. You’ll likely need to plan ahead, but hopefully by booking the sitter and marking the date on your calendar you’ll consider yourselves “locked in” to spending this valuable time together.
Hold up! Read More
Conflict in relationships is inevitable. You can try to avoid it by tamping down negative emotions and brushing seemingly minor issues under the rug, but at some point, they will come back to bite you. Many times this is in the form of a blowup that is completely disproportional to whatever seemed to trigger it. You end up fighting not only about the topic at hand but ten other previously unaddressed issues as well.
As uncomfortable as it can be, the best way to avoid this situation and grow as a couple is to deal with issues as they occur. Studies have shown that it is not whether a couple fights that predicts divorce, but how they fight. Read More
Passive communicators are often unwilling to share thoughts, feelings, or desires in an honest way. This tendency may stem from low self-esteem, but it is also used to avoid criticism or hurting others’ feelings. Being the recipient of passive communicators tend to leave their partner feeling angry, confused, and mistrustful.